The Story of Chan and Shmi- A Non Consummated marriage

When I was going through the blues brooding over India’s exit at the world cup in my office, my phone rang. It was Nalini, my effervescent secretary/nurse informing me about the arrival of Chan and Shmi, the couple who had been undergoing sex therapy at the clinic over the past 6 weeks. I could see them in the waiting hall through my CCTV. They were not their usual glum selves. Here they were with a basket of fruits and beaming from ear to ear. I needed that adrenaline shot to pep up my foul mood. I COULDN’T WAIT.

I let them in and they gave me their story. “It finally happened doc”, said Shmi. Chan was gushing like a five year old who had just won his first medal at school. They had advanced their appointment to see me by 3 days as they could not wait to tell me the good news.

Well, Chan and Shmi have been married for 2 years. Their marriage had not been consummated. Shmi had dyspareunia/vaginismus and Chan had ED. They had seen a few sexologists before they arrived at my office and were completely disillusioned. After a thorough evaluation, I had advised Sex therapy for them. They were quite hesitant as they had tried it before and had dropped out due to personal reasons. I explained patiently with a slide show and made them understand that there was nothing physiologically wrong with them and it was more the psychology that needed to be fixed.I have to give it to them. Busy IT professionals.

Still, they took the time out, persisted and won.  Chan and Shmi are not alone. Non consummated marriages affect 5-8% of married couples and is an important reason for infertility and marital discord among couples. Timely evaluation, adequate counseling and sex therapy resolve this effectively.

Persistence is the key.