Marriage Counselling for unconsummated marriages

The Center for Marital Bliss (CFMB) is a pioneering venture established through the vision and passion of Chennai’s sexologist and laser surgeon Dr. Karthik Gunasekaran. CFMB is based on a focused research study done at the Metromale Clinic & Fertility Center on incidence of non consummated marriages in married men with sexual dysfunction.

In this study, an astonishing 35% of these marriages were non-consummated (no penetrative vaginal sexual intercourse). Most of these men suffered from erectile dysfunction. If truth be told, a good 90% of these ED problems were psychological and 10% were partner related. The mean time for presentation of these patients after marriage was 1-3 years. When the partners of these men came in, vaginismus accounted for a good 20% of these problems.

In India where bedroom secrets demand to be shared with parents and relatives, marital discord leading to divorce is not far behind in non consummated marriages. However, with early detection and diagnosis, these can be averted and the couple can then alight on an ecstatic journey. The need for such a holistic couple center gave birth to the Center for Marital Bliss.

Located in T. Nagar in the heart of Chennai, OMR (The IT Hub Road of Chennai), and Porur, the Counselling Centers cater to a huge population with marital problems. Respect, privacy and courtesy have been the pillars on which the center stands.

Dr. Karthik Gunasekaran

Dr. Karthik Gunasekaran is an Andrologist, Reproductive Microsurgeon, Sexual Dysfunction Specialist, Embryologist and world renowned Pelvic Reconstructive Surgeon. He is currently the only doctor in India to be qualified in these specialties. He is the proud winner of the coveted Prof A. Venugopal Gold Medal in urology which is the top prize in urology.

He was trained in men´s reproductive health and reproductive microsurgery by none other than world renowned Andrologist and Reproductive Microsurgeon, Dr. Paul Turek (www.theturekclinic.com) at San Francisco, California.

He further obtained fellowship training in sexual medicine from Dr. Irwin Goldstein (www.sandiegosexualmedicine.com) eminent urologist and the past editor of the journal of sexual medicine at the San Diego Sexual Medicine Center, San Diego, California.

Dr. Karthik Gunasekaran was conferred with the title of Fellow of European Committee of Sexual Medicine (FECSM). This prestigious degree only held by a handful of people in the world was awarded after he sat for the exam conducted by the Multidisciplinary Joint Committee of Sexual Medicine held in Istanbul, Turkey, in Jan 2014.

He is the only doctor in the state of Tamil Nadu to hold the FECSM qualification. He is currently editing a book on men´s Health by Springer Publication.

Dr.Manu Lakshmi

Dr. Manu Lakshmi is a Consultant in Reproductive Medicine, and Obstetrics and Gynaecology.

Dr. Manu graduated from Madras Medical College, and completed Diploma in Anaesthesia from Stanley Medical College with special interest in Obstetric Anaesthesia. She, however found her niche in Gynaecology and completed her MRCOG from the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists, London, UK. A Reproductive Medicine Fellowship and Diploma in Ultrasonography soon followed. She underwent advanced training in Reproductive Medicine, Hysteroscopy and Laparoscopic surgery from Gleneagles hospital Singapore.

She feels that sub fertility creates a lot of stress among young couples, especially career oriented couples, which affects their interpersonal relationship. She firmly believes that compassion and empathy are the bottom line as far as treatment goes, and envisions Guna Fertility Center as a place where they can relax and Have a Baby.

Metromale Clinic & Fertility Center has been the pioneer in men’s sexual health in Chennai and a first of its kind in India in providing holistic care to men. It has established itself as one of the best in men’s health. Carved out of hospital, the Center for Marital Bliss for unconsummated marriages aims to uphold the same traits that made Metromale Clinic & Fertility Center a great Center for men’s health. The teams of professionals at the Center for Marital Bliss make up the perfect group for handing issues arising out of marital discord. These problems include but not limited to sexual dysfunction in men and women, infertility problems, child care issues, relationship problems and infidelity issues. Dr. Karthik Gunasekaran is a highly qualified sexologist and andrologist with vast experience in the field of sexual medicine and andrology. He’s a holistic physician trained in United States and Europe with extensive knowledge in psychosexual therapy and in treatment of any and all problems associated with Male genitalia.

Dr. Manu Lakshmi handles the Gynecology aspects of fertility and female sexual health. An MRCOG from the Royal College, UK, she is a great asset to the Center. A certified fertility health and sexual consultant; she plays a vital role in evaluating women with fertility issues and sexual dysfunction.

Marriage Counselling/Couples Counselling

Marriage counseling, also called couples therapy, is a type of therapy instituted to married couples or couples who are soon to get married. Marriage counseling helps couples of all types recognize and resolve conflicts and improve their relationships. Through marriage counseling, couples can make thoughtful decisions about rebuilding their relationship or going their separate ways. Marriage counseling is often provided by licensed therapists known as marriage and family therapists. Marriage counseling can help couples in all types of intimate relationships, irrespective of identity, orientation, married or not.

Some couples seek marriage counseling to strengthen their bonds and gain a better understanding of each other.

Time taken for therapy and timing of therapy will be decided after a joint meeting between the therapists/doctors.

Well Marriage Counselling

Couples after marriage have certain issues that could have been ironed out well in advance if they had chosen to meet a counselor earlier. Simple problems often assume gigantic proportions after getting married as the level of understanding that couples require after marriage is much higher than would have been the case before marriage.

A well marriage counseling brings together the couple that is planning a marriage and also treats couples who are facing a lot of stress in the institution of marriage. Time and again couples with unsatisfactory relationships present nearly as late as 20 years after marriage. They confess saying that they had made the decision earlier instead of letting small differences tear them apart. These couples would have lived under the same roof but would live like strangers. Also the animosity that they show towards each other, though beneath the surface would affect children as well.

Premarital Counselling

Premarital counseling is a type of therapy that helps couples prepare for marriage. Premarital counseling can help ensure that you and your partner have a strong, healthy relationship – giving you a better chance for a stable and satisfying marriage. Premarital counseling can also help you identify weaknesses that could become problems during marriage.

Premarital counseling helps partners improve their ability to communicate, set realistic expectations for marriage and develop conflict-resolution skills. In addition, premarital counseling can help couples establish a positive attitude about seeking help down the road.

Each person´s belief and attitude towards life´s challenges are different. Hence it is important to understand that these issues should be resolved or rather an attempt is made to resolve before marriage to ensure a smoother transition through marriage.

Affair Recovery Program

Studies show that although adults in the United States generally expect sexual monogamy in their relationships, up to 20% will engage in extramarital sex at some point. Affairs happen for myriad reasons, but one main reason appears to be relationship dissatisfaction. In general, a successful relationship requires feelings of stability and when there is lack of stability, emotional response or sexual dissatisfaction, one or both partners are likely to feel dissatisfied, and dissatisfaction in a relationship can increase the likelihood of infidelity.

Adultery does not always occur as a result of relationship dissatisfaction, though. Sometimes a partner may enter an affair based on personal dissatisfaction or for the personal gratification of obtaining an ego boost, a new sexual experience, or shared emotional intimacy.

Couples go through a lot of stress once the affair is exposed. In order to readjust after the affair, professional help is needed. In some cases both the partners are willing to work towards a successful recovery. In others there might be a lot of resistance. In any case cooperation is key.

Divorce Adjustment

Though we expect all marriages to end well, unfortunately this is not the case with some. There is a lot of disharmony and this could be accentuated by the culture in which people spend their lifetime. In India, though western concepts are advocated and adopted by some parts of the society, the majority still follow the traditional set of rules.

Between 40 and 50% of married couples in the United States end up divorcing. There are numerous reasons for why partners get divorced, and many couples cite a combination of reasons rather than just one single problem. The following reasons have been identified as some of the most common factors leading to divorce:

• Lack of commitment, including marrying too young or marrying the wrong person.
• Infidelity.
• Communication issues or a tendency to argue.
• Inequality in marriage, particularly regarding chores or care for children.
• Physical and emotional abuse, and/or abuse of chemical substances.
• Unrealistic assumptions about what marriage would be like, including insufficient preparation for the challenges of married life.
• Financial problems and disagreements about money.

Sexual Problems

Sexual problems form one of the most important criteria for a happy marriage. Men and women are equally afflicted. The problems are easily identifiable in men because of the absence of an erection which is noticed easily and hence the burden on men to prove that they are not impotent. Women on the other hand do have vaginismus and low desire problems. The complaints however come in late due to cultural issues. Both these can result in non consummated marriages. This is a problem that can be easily resolved with proper guidance, counseling and if necessary psychosexual therapy.

Infertility Treatment

Marriage becomes a joke at least in India in the eyes of neighbours, relatives, friends etc. if the couple does not have a child at the end of the first year. Such is the pressure to make a child spurred on by the peer pressure from others who have children. This may be the forerunner of a sexual problem as well. This combination of infertility with sexual problems is very common especially in high strung couples who are very career oriented. A center which caters to all the fertility and sexual issues is the need of the hour.